07.24.08
Posted in Lessons at 7:29 am by Serenity
How To Make Many Friends Easily
by: Ivan Campuzano
How to make many friends easily..
With every goal you have in life, people will always be a critical part of it. How fast you reach your goals depends on how well you deal with people and the level of influence you have on them. In order to really influence people you must become a person who is likable. How do you become likable? You must have a sincere interest in other people. Every person on this earth wants to feel important, so you need to treat everyone with the up most importance, because they deserve it. Remember no one is better than you and you are not better than anyone, we are all human beings who deserve the same amount of respect.
Becoming Likable:
Setting the Stage
Your goal in meeting people should be to consciously be the first to initiate and set the stage for conversation. Most people are hesitant to be the first, don’t be like most people step out of your comfort zone. I know that if you are a shy person that this can be one of the hardest things for you to do, but the more you do it, the more you condition your self for it to become second nature. As a small kid I used to be really shy but I noticed that the kids that where outgoing tended to be the happier kids so I began to step out of my comfort zone and now I feel I can walk up to almost anyone. This is going to take time; things don’t happen over night but don’t let this discourage you. Many people feel that for you to become proficient in something takes around five years. Don’t waste anytime, start today and each day after that will get easier. Each different experience will later serve as a reference to remind you, that you can approach almost anyone. By being the first to initiate conversation you also automatically have a certain degree of control, you are able to draw people into your own rhythms. Have you ever noticed how persuasive people are able to seduce you to their ways, dictating your body language and basically synchronizing it to theirs? This is because people naturally imitate other people as a way of communicating with the other person. So if you are the first you get to decide what angle to approach. So if the person you are approaching appears sad, approach them with a big confident smile. Odds are they will slowly begin to smile; you will automatically change their mood. Now you will have a better chance of having a better conversation.
In setting the stage you will need to train your self to pick up any subtle signals that the person you are approaching is giving off. With time you will be able to sum up a person in a blink of an eye and from what your subconscious catches use it help you set the stage. This will require you to have an open mind and immerse your self in as many different worlds/cultures as possible. That’s why I never limit my self to one particular set of friends. I have friends from all sorts of backgrounds. I have friends who are skaters, basketball players, artists, musicians, writers, etc. By having so many friends with diverse interests I quickly learn about their worlds. By knowing what kind of stage to set up you will know how to get the other person to think very highly of you. For example by being observant you will catch the subtleties in the way a person appears to be (The way he is dressed, body language, tone of voice, language, etc.) which will help you to imagine placing your self in there shoes. By really imagining what being that person is like it will give you a good idea of how he/she is feeling. This in turn helps you get a better idea of what appproach to use when trying to communicate effectively with them. When I am able to pick up persons subtleties I will know what topics, questions, and general things that appeal to them which gives me information to work with in the process of winning that person as a friend. Like if know this person is really passionate about cars, I will ask a question with the minimum knowledge I have about something that he knows or thinks he knows a lot about.
Now you set the stage for Mike who will love to tell me exactly why the Mitsubishi EVO is better. When someone is knowledgeable about something it’s in their nature to tell you because it is one more opportunity for them to show how great or smart they are. You have to cater to their ego and never test or contradict their ideas, because their ego will not accept someone who is supposed to know less tell them they are possibly wrong. If I would have told him that I heard that the Subaru WRX is better, we would have just gotten in an argument that he would not have backed out of. But I didn’t and now they will love me for it, because I was taking interest into what he enjoys.
Body Language
Whenever you approach someone for the very first time your body language will do most of the talking and the other person will immediately have a first impression of you. So you must always be aware that whatever you say your body is also in agreement. If you say one thing and your body says the opposite you will come out as someone fake. We have all seen the girl that walks up to another girl and says “I’m so happy to see you…how you been?….you look so good…” but their body language is saying “what are you doing here….I’m not really listening to what your saying” this is easily seen and can be one of the rudest things you can do in trying to make new friends. Always approach someone with open gestures and a smile. If you approach someone with crossed arms, this will automatically make the other person defensive and question your motives. Approach them with open arms and a gentle smile, smiling is infectious if the other person has a stern look on their face the moment youapproach them with a smile you will gradually notice that they will smile too. This usually sets it up for a good conversation because both people are in good moods. Try this - if you’re in a neutral mood right now, put a big smile on your face for no reason if you pay attention you can feel your body changing and your mood immediately start to change. People who are in good moods will place a lot more importance to what you have to say.
Questions and Listening
Your next goal is to sincerely try to find out as much as you can about the person. Ask quality questions; find out what is important to the person, goals, beliefs, interests, etc. The key is to be sincere so the person feels comfortable and is more likely to open up. Try to have a calm demeanor refrain from being overly eager as this might scare the person. You must be able to match the mood of the person. If the person is excited to tell you a story you must become excited as well. If the person is telling you a sad story you must show sincere empathy. Be open minded and really listen to the person.
Listening: Try to listen at least twice as much as you talk. Listening requires more than just pretending to listen or simply hearing a person talk. Listening and hearing are two completely different things and the person can tell if you’re really listening to them, or simply hearing them speak. Being a good listener is a skill, you must become an active listener. Remember this is all about the other person, who cares if you don’t get to talk about your self. In the end the other person will love you for it. They will tell their friends
“Man I really enjoyed talking to that person”….why is that? Was he a very interesting person? “You know what…I really don’t know why…I really don’t know much about him”
This shouldn’t bother you because in the end you greatly benefited from the situation as well. If you’re an effective listener you will gain a better understanding of that person’s thoughts, perspectives, feelings and actions. You have to remember that most people would rather talk than listen, but most of the time this person is not very influential. Take this as an opportunity to become more persuasive and influential.
Sometimes the problem with most people is that listening to them doesn’t have much value. They feel that in order to get people to like them they must do a great deal of the talking. Think about that for a minute, how do you like it when another person is talking so much that when you try and say something they still keep talking. You eventually quit listening to that person because you got to annoyed. Now sometimes you don’t need to do most of the listening, you constantly need to evaluate the situation. Sometimes people really want to hear what you have to say. In this situation still try and get the other person involved and flip around the question that they just asked you.
People who talk too much
1. People always talk about them behind their backs
2. In group settings they feel they always need to say something just to feel like they are contributing.
3. Usually have very big egos
4. They ask questions that they already have the answers too
5. Because they are so focused on having something to say aren’t even listening to what someone is saying.
People Who Listen Effectively
1.Get the whole picture, than they can act accordingly.
2.Everyone loves a good listener so you will make tons of friends.
3.No one talks bad about you, who ever said “man that kid just loves to listen too much”
Good listening is going to really take effort. The reason is that people can think a lot faster than people can speak. What ends up happening is that you begin to think of other things as that person is speaking. Than you become consumed with those thoughts. Next thing you know the other person asks you “So than do you think I did the right thing”. You weren’t listening so you have no idea what to say. This is one of biggest turn offs in trying to become friends with that person.
Things to avoid when Listening
Don’t Interrupt
Because you have the upper hand by thinking faster than someone who is speaking, you will become tempted to interrupt. Don’t because the other person will get the feeling that you don’t care what they are saying and want to bring back the topic of conversation to you. The other person might also have great momentum going in telling you a story, but when you interrupt them their story doesn’t carry as much feeling when they go back to speaking. You also show that you are one of those people who enjoy speaking more than being a good listener. When you interrupt you are also making assumptions of what you think the other person is about to say. This might cause you to miss out completely different information. Because you interrupted them the other person might not even want to continue telling you about it.
Don’t Finish Other Peoples Sentences
Don’t Offer Advice too Soon
Compliments + Appreciation
The way to make people feel important is through sincere compliments and appreciation. Most people go out their way to do something, to get other people to notice them, yet most people don’t. Get in the habit of noticing the little things about people. In the end the little things are what matter and what end up making a person unique so pay attention. Next time you see them, be the first to give them a sincere compliment on something even as simple as their hair cut. By making other people feel good about them selves you should also feel good for doing it, it’s a win win situation.
Many times people walk around with the mentality that other people owe them something, nobody owes you anything. Whenever anybody does anything for you show your appreciation and let them know you don’t take anything for granted. Be spontaneous get the person a small gift when they don’t expect it.
Encouragement
Once you find out what is truly important to someone you must provide encouragement. Everyone has dreams and aspirations. Be the one who encourages them to pursue their goals. Any insight or information that’s empowering will provide a boost to their confidence. Most people are so afraid of failure that they will not pursue their goals. They will give you all the reasons why their goals are out of reach. Your goal should be to switch their focus on the negative reasons to the ways how they can make it happen. You have to remember that whatever we focus on becomes our reality, so when you focus only on the negative aspects that’s all you will see. When they give you a reason why they can’t do it, ask them if that’s really a reason or a mere excuse. If they are excuses show them how destructive it is to be in this mental state. Make them realize that all their hopes and dreams are in danger all because of petty excuses. One of the best feelings you will get in dealing with people, is when you get another person excited about his goals or ideas. Now that the person is excited you need to point them in the right direction. Help them research the world they want to be in; find out as much relevant information. Help them create a plan and deadlines that will help them reach their goals. Start with small attainable goals, this will help them gain momentum and than move onto more challenging goals. By being active in the whole process you will build a deeper and more influential relationship with that person. He will not see you as a mere friend but as an ally in their journey to success.
Plan and Organize Social Events
One of the best ways to develop a meaningful experience with someone is through a social event. Whenever you participate in an event or trip your relationship with those people will become even greater. When I studied abroad in Prague I have never developed such strong relationships in such a short amount of time. I met people from all over the world and on the weekends we would take trips to other countries. On these trips I made incredible bonds, because everyone was on an adventure of experiencing new things together. Experiences are always magnified with more people involved. Just think about when you are watching a funny movie all by yourself you begin to laugh but than realize no one is there to enjoy the moment with you and your experience is quickly diminished .
I hope all these pointers will help everyone become more influential, take care and much success to everyone!
http://www.howtogetyourshineon.com
About The Author
Ivan Campuzano
A recent Colorado State University graduate with a degree in Finance. While at CSU Ivan studied abroad for a semester at the School of Economics (VSE) in Prague. Prague was such an amazing experience for Ivan, that he decided to move back and pursue several of his dreams.Interests: investing,trading,reading,traveling,music,meeting new people,and looking for new opportunities.
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07.08.08
Posted in Love~Relationship at 10:04 pm by Serenity
What Is The Best Age To Marry? A Closer Look At The Research
by: Emily Kensington
As a couples therapist, I frequently give relationship advice about the best age, if any, to get married. While there is no magical age to get married, one is almost always better off waiting to get married, for lots of good reasons.
First, the divorce rate has been hovering at 50% for years, and is much higher the younger you get married. Teenage or early adult marriages have a divorce rate of 75%-85%, and surveys show that the older the female is at the time of her first marriage, the longer the marriage lasts.
I ask you: If you were boarding on a plane with a 50% chance of crashing, would you get on?
The reason for the high divorce rate, particularly among teens/early adults, is simple: From a basic developmental perspective, peoples’ needs and goals change over time, and at age 30 you will be a much different person than you were at 18 or 21. Also, studies indicate that the purely chemical “butterflies in the tummy” feeling one gets when in love only lasts between two to six months, if your lucky. In other words, it doesn’t last, so perhaps it’s best to be with your current love without making things more complex by getting married.
Also, while there is no perfect way to determine the potential stability of a given marriage, the following questions are vital prior to considering such a huge life change.
Prior to getting married, one has to be mature enough to realize:
-Love is not enough; the stresses of a young couple are real, and the struggle for decent jobs, housing, and health insurance are real stresses that can destroy any couple. Why rush to take on difficult adult responsibilities?
-Consider your own needs, goals, and relationship requirements. Does your partner satisfy them? It is rare for a teenage or young adult to have enough life experience to know what they really want.
-You MUST be totally emotionally, physically and financially independent from your parents. Healthy marriages require two independent individuals to make a complete whole. Young couples typically marry to get away from their parents or a negative home environment, but there are other ways to cope.
-Relationships need time to see if behavior patterns are consistently healthy. So ask, how long has this union been happy and healthy?
-Get to know yourself. What do you want in life? What do you wish to contribute to the world and how? Live purposefully, then you’ll meet others with similar world views and life visions.
About The Author
Emily Kensington is a couples therapist. For free relationship advice and romance tips visit http://www.hearts-and-kisses.com
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Posted in Love~Relationship at 9:57 pm by Serenity
Bad Men You Should Avoid When Dating
by: Nicholl McGuire
Women always say, “I didn’t know he was like that” when their boyfriends perform acts that cause everyone around them shame. In some cases they really weren’t aware of the boyfriend’s mischievous deeds, but in other cases women knew well in advance they just hoped he would stop.
Most women are not stupid, gullible, dumb, or any other name critics choose to call them for the selections in men they make. For some, they truly had no idea their boyfriend meant bad news for them. The ever-popular question of, “Why did she get herself involved with him anyway?” continues to loom over their heads and the reasons vary depending on whom you ask. Some women may have found out about their problem boyfriend and stayed because of love, status, money and/or power. Others may have stayed because they didn’t want to carry the guilt of leaving their children’s father over issues they feel could be resolved. Still many women feel they can change him. As long as women continue to believe that the power of sex, money, counseling, personal sacrifice or a host of other strategies to change a bad man will work, they will continue to subject themselves to mental and physical abuse. These strategies simply will never work for some men. There comes a time when women will have to get off their knees whether she is praying to God or pleading to her mate to change. She will have to stand up carrying her self-respect in hand and walk right through the door of “end the relationship now.”
The following advice is written for women who haven’t yet made a commitment or a baby with a “bad boy.” She may be struggling with whether she is ready to settle down with him, distance herself from him or keep him as a friend. Although the best advice is not to offer to carry him or his burdens and just leave him alone, there will be those women who will still stay. If those women choose to stay, they have committed themselves to a hard life of many restless nights, aches and pains at times mentally and/or physically and they most likely will past negative behaviors to their future children and their children.
The Liar – In the beginning of the relationship, you caught him in a few white lies. He had what seemed like convincing excuses; therefore you let him get away with them. Now the lying has increased and the excuses have become minimal if not at all. Actions you may want to consider are the following: Approach him not only with what you think, but what you know; in other words have proof. Stop taking his lying lightly. Let him know that this behavior you will not accept any longer. If he chooses to continue lying, then tell him you will have to end the relationship for good. Once you have made a decision that you are leaving, begin to make efforts to not be contacted by him (change your cell phone number, block his email address, put places you hang out frequently on hold, and avoid telling mutual friends about your personal whereabouts, thoughts and feelings. You must not leave and then go back to him, he will only get better about lying to you over time.
The Player also known as The Pimp – This man is obsessed with being contacted or making contact with the opposite sex. He will use cell phone, email, your house phone or friends to make contact with whomever he meets. He will leave a trail of evidence whether it is the popular piece of paper that slips out of his pocket with a phone number without a name, restaurant receipts, hotel charges, cologne or jewelry gifts, read and sent email that sits in his account that he forgot to delete. He begins to create a pattern in his actions when you have become old and someone else becomes new. Look out for this repetitious pattern. He may develop his pattern after work on a daily basis working later and later nights at the office then when he comes home he is providing almost too much detail about what happened at work or not at all. Another pattern he may create may be choosing a hobby or interest that is very unusual to his personality and attending this faithfully, what you can do to find out if he is sincere is offer to pick him up from the pottery class on some nights. Watch his reaction. There may also be the weekend pattern of always “needing to get away, have some time to myself, or I’m so busy with errands.” All the while making little or no time for the two of you to go out and be seen together. When you suggest new places to visit, he finds an excuse to take you to the same area you both are familiar to keep from running into the other woman or women. He finds a way, anyway, to travel to places without you regularly using an excuse such as “I’m going to my mother’s house or hanging out with Rick, Joe or someone you never heard of Frank.” Be careful family and friends will cover for him. He will call you, at times when he knows you are out and about to see if you will be in the proximity where he will be entertaining the other woman or women. He is protective of his cell phone and his computer; if you tried to check either it maybe password protected. You may want to consider whether having to worry over your man’s whereabouts is worth all of this aggravation. In time, you will become insecure, angry for no apparent reason, and develop a since of distrust toward everyone you meet. This is baggage you don’t need.
The Thief – He has been around when things go missing. At first you didn’t suspect him and thought items had just been misplaced or he blamed someone else for taking them. Yet, you have always had a funny feeling in your gut that he was the one who made off with your dad’s tools, took your favorite CD, helped himself to some cash sitting around, and other important items. It is time to come up with a plan, set him up. The kind of plan you come up with can’t be easily figured out by him and if you sincerely want your restless conscience to be at peace, then go to great lengths to figure out whether he is trustworthy. Time is money and the longer you stay with him, the more items will go missing.
The Hustler – He is always thinking of a way to separate people from their money illegally. From identity theft to standing on the street corner selling drugs, he always has a knot of money and doesn’t mind living lavishly. Now you may think that what he has told you about his daytime job is paying the bills, but the truth of the matter that job didn’t pay for the designer clothing and expensive jewelry you wear; instead it was the second one you may or may not know about. This man is dangerous. He has enemies and one day some one will catch up with him, you or anyone who associates with either of you, and the sight won’t be pretty. You must ask yourself this question, is he worth putting your life and everyone else’s lives around you in danger?
The Abuser/Controller – You can never do anything right. He is often critical, walks around with an attitude and every opportunity he has alone he wants you to stop living your world to be with him. In the beginning of the relationship, you justified his negative personality with excuse after excuse. Whether he is physically ill, illiterate, disabled or mentally disturbed and on medication, you have a right to explain how you feel about him to him. You may have done this already and got knocked to the ground whether verbally or physically. You may have told yourself that things will get better and he is making an effort to change. Well that is good if he is sincere about becoming a better man; however, he can make those strides without you living with him and subjecting yourself to his name calling, mood swings, choking, punching, and grabbing. There are no rewards in heaven given to women who allow themselves to be abused by men. There was only one Christ in the Holy Bible and you are not He. (Read more about the abuser in an article I wrote entitled, “How To Know Your Boyfriend Is Abusive” at this site.)
The Mooch – You have invited him once again on an outing and he never has any money in his wallet. During inopportune times, he says he needs to stop at the ATM and you know there is none even close to where the two of you are located. When he offers to take you out, he usually picks a place that he doesn’t have to pay much (despite the fact that when it was on your tab he ordered steak and another time lobster!) He drives your car and doesn’t fill it up, when you mention it; he finally puts some gas in the tank — a measly $5 or $10. Holidays come and go with very little if any acknowledgement from him. Yet, you bought him (and possibly his relatives) really nice gifts whether it was a holiday or not. He displays affection, says all the right things, and listens to your concerns only when he knows he needs something from you. If you choose to continue a relationship with this man you have options and they are as follows. You could stop being so generous and treat him how he treats you. For example, when you invite him out, treat him to the kind of places he takes you. Put a limit on how often he drives your car. Avoid helping him when he is in a bind since you know he won’t help you. Make yourself unavailable to run errands for him and anyone associated with him (that includes his children by a previous relationship, his mother, sister or brother.) If he begins to see you are no fool, he won’t continue to run over you and will grow to appreciate you. However, if he doesn’t you will be making it easy for him to walk away from you without you having to break up with him.
The Drunk/ Drug Abuser – How many times have you seen him intoxicated or using drugs? Is he fun, angry, disgusting or depressed afterward? Are most of the relationship problems you have been facing associated with this type of behavior? If so, then you will have to consider whether or not you will help him get counseling from a distance, continue to live with him and endure the abuse, leave him alone altogether or create an intervention for him that includes a professional counselor, family and friends who have all been affected by his negative ways. If he consistently refuses help, then for your own sanity and safety, leave him alone.
About The Author
Nicholl McGuire is a Published Poet, Freelance Writer and Author. Her book Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate speaks to women who haven’t reached a decision to leave an abusive situation, visit http://stores.lulu.com/nichollmcguire for more info.
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Posted in Lessons at 9:44 pm by Serenity
Creating Your Vision
by: Ivan Campuzano
Creating Your Vision
“Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one” Albert Einstein
I feel that one of the most important ingredients in your formula for success is having a clearly defined and vivid vision of where you want to be. At first the “how” is not that important, you need to create a vision that gets you so excited that you develop the mentality that you will stop at nothing to get what you want. Many people first focus on the how than very quickly find themselves overwhelmed with too many details and just as quickly talk them selves out of pursuing their goals. You have to take a leap of faith and trust that the how will be shown to you as you go along. Do you remember the days as a kid with dreams of epic proportions? What happened those dreams? You got older and domesticated by a society that says that having those dreams is foolish. That’s nonsense, why wouldn’t you want to accomplish the things that even as a kid you knew would make you happy. I encourage you to dream like you once used to.
“Shoot for the moon…even if you
Miss you’ll still be amongst them stars”- Beanie Sigel(rap artist)
One way I keep myself motivated and keep my vision alive is through my picture book. In my book I have everything that I want and every morning I look at it to remind me what I want in life. Go right now and get some magazines and cut out every picture of the things you want and places you want to visit, don’t be thinking if you can actually get those things now, dare to dream. Remember your mind thinks in pictures, look at your picture book until in becomes as vivid as possible in the theater of your mind. Your mind cant tell the difference between something you remember or something you experience in real time.
Visualization Exercises(meditation):
(Please read this whole section, I will explain why almost all self help fails to produce the results people want)
You can think of meditation as conscious sleeping. Just as you sleep to gain energy for your daily functioning, meditation is conscious sleeping that gives you all the energy(creative abilities) you need for what you intend to accomplish.
I also use lucid dreaming as another way to increase creativity, I will soon write a hub on lucid dreaming.(Lucid dreaming is when you actually become aware in your dream that you are dreaming, once properly trained you can control your dreams)
Use the power of meditation to help you achieve your goals. Strive to everyday meditate one minute for each year of your current age. I am 24, so everyday I try and meditate at least 24 minutes. If you are new to meditation check out this website on transcendental meditation .There are many techniques find something that feels good to you.
Quantum Mind Power
Daily Routine:
1. Pick a nice comfortable place where to meditate. Have an intention on what you plan to meditate on before hand. Ex. A destination you want to visit.
2. Find a comfortable position to sit. Sitting on a chair or on the floor, does not really matter as long as it is comfortable for you.
3. Cross your legs, clasp your hands together.(this helps make your own energy circuit and gives stability)
4.Close your eyes, than stop inner and outer chatter.
5. Relax, begin thinking that your whole body is becoming extremely relaxed.
6. Eyes should be closed.
7. You will notice that your mind is full of many thoughts. Your mind will than begin to ask questions to those thoughts and try and come up with answers whether they are known or unknown. This is why your mind(ego) can be your enemy if it mostly thinks in negative terms.
8. You will need to transcend your mind and thoughts in order to meditate. Your mind and thoughts are what separate you from your higher self, you can also think of your higher self as your subconscious mind don’t worry about the labels.
9. You transcend your mind by simply observing your breath. Don’t inhale/exhale consciously just observe your natural breathing. Don’t go behind your thoughts, if you catch your self drifting just always come back to your breathing. Slowly the amount of thoughts reduces and your breathing becomes thinner and shorter. If you are able to keep all your focus on your breath, you will get to the point of no thought and no breath. This state of no thought is your connection to your divine being and energy body. The more you meditate the more benefits and energy that you will receive. Your own self awareness and consciousness will also expand.
10. You will feel a very pleasurable feeling meditating. If you feel any discomfort in your body these can be possible areas of disease or illness. If you meditate everyday you will heal your body naturally.
11. Now that you are in a state of no thought and total relaxation. Begin to think only on your intention. Remember whatever you think now is in a state that will be impregnated directly into your subconscious. It is incredibly important that you don’t color any of your thoughts with any lack,limitation,dis belief or doubt. This is why almost all self help material does not produce the results people expect. Wishing for more money(or anything else) never works, the thought of wanting more money also has the thought of doubt attached to it. Ask your self how many thoughts that you think about have been modified in a way that is not beneficial to you. You just never realize that you are programming your sub conscious all day. This is why meditation is so powerful. You are able to make suggestions to your subconscious where the thought is not modified in any way shape or form. So if you want to make things happen fast you need to get rid of the concept of attaching time to yourthoughts. You have to remember that everything you get in your life comes based on the conditions that you set up and time is usually one condition that cuases the most frustration with people. Just as a computer programmer gives a computer instructions to complete a task, you program the most powerful computer you have which is your subconscious. Your conscious mind acts as the gate keeper as to what thoughts you let in. Now that you know this choose to become more aware and conscious about what you think all day long. Learn to see the world in a non linear way, remove time from your consiousness and watch how things show up in your life faster than you ever thought.
Thoughts = feelings = actions = results (just like that you can begin to shape your life)
12. Mentally rehearse every moment of it with all your senses. Dare to be like Peter Pan 
13. Visualize in vivid detail, your intention as established fact. Also make sure you meditate only on days you feel good. Remember you want your thoughts to be as pure as possible. This also means that you really find out what you want, make sure its not something you want solely for ego purposes. Thoughts that involve the ego are usually always colored with negativity.
14. With time you will begin to be able to hold vivid pictures of anything(you will develop you third eye). The more you are able to hold onto an image in your mind the more power you give it.
15. Get up and go have a great day notice how much energy you have the rest of the day. As you advance in your discipline, you will have a lot of fun basically creating your day before it starts.
Beliefs:
To start making that vision a reality you will have to change some of your beliefs and adopt beliefs that will help you reach your goals. Because if you have this great vision of you retiring on your own private beach but deep down you don’t believe you can do it, you have already sabotaged yourself. Your desire and your belief are in conflict with each other and therefore you will not manifest what it is that you want into your life. If you want to be a good leader one day but you currently have the belief that you are a shy person, it will not happen. You need to truly make a decision to adopt the belief that you are really outgoing. When you truly decide to do something you will find a way to do it.
“Nothing happens unless first a dream” – Carl Sandburg
Some Ways to shape your beliefs:
1. Always think Success- as soon as you think about failure forget about it and don’t let anymore negative thoughts snowball. The more attention you give a thought the more powerful it will become than you will make it harder for yourself to get back to a productive mind state. The only way to change how you feel is to think about something else. Whenever you feel doubt, fear, and failure creeping into your mind have a default thought that you can use to avoid giving attention to mental poison. As soon as I feel I am entertaining thoughts of negativity I immediately begin to think about relaxing on a beach and affirm to myself that “I attract abundance to all areas of my life”. The more I try and have the feelings of being on the beach with no worries and remind myself that I am in complete control of how I feel, I immediately feel the negativity begin to melt away as I begin to focus on my new positive thought.
2. Develop the belief that you are better than you currently feel- don’t look at your weaknesses as a burden but as an opportunity to improve your self. When I find something I don’t like about my personality I don’t get down on myself for it, I just realize that now I have something I can work on to make myself better. Most importantly love and accept who you are, not who you will or should be.
3. Believe that sky’s the limit- if you have little goals you will have little success, the bigger your dreams the more potential for your possible success. Even If you think your dream is too big, strive to reach that dream, because you will end up at a better place than if you would have set your sights on a smaller goal. The trick is to really believe you can do it, this just isn’t wishful thinking. Wishful thinking never got anyone anything, you need to find out what you want and get out there and get it. If you really want that house on the beach your mind will come up with ways to help you get it.(develop faith in your self)
How to remove junk beliefs:
1. Meditate on your old belief and tell the truth about it. Now replace it with a belief that will better serve you. Meditate on it until you feel you have changed that belief.
Now when you accept these beliefs it means you will have to raise your standards and develop a strategy that will put you on the road to accomplish what you set forth. Do whatever you have to do. Read any books that will spark your interest or help you discover any distinctions that will point you in the right direction. Find a role model, a person who has already accomplished what you want. Find out what some of their beliefs, interests, body language, image, etc. is and adopt them as your own. Your role model can serve as a blue print, the goal is to cut down on the trial and error so you can get where you want faster than you ever thought possible. You can take all the qualities from all the people you admire and add your own personal touch. Just think of if it as if you are trying to build the person you want and know you can be. Thomas Edison is one of the greatest inventors in history, he was able to elaborate, modify and adapt on other peoples ideas. You don’t have torecreate the wheel just constantly be aware of any success ingredients you come across and make them part of your identity. Think of your mind as a warehouse the more you learn and store will eventually serve as an inventory for future reference, which will breed new ideas and perspectives.
Consistency is key we are all creatures of patterns and habits. In order to become the person you desire to be, start by changing your patterns. Think of all the quality traits you must possess, make a pattern which uses those traits efficiently than strive to be consistent. Consistency will develop into habits and this is key because if you fail to be consistent with your actions you will not be consistent with who you desire to be. This lack of confusion between your actions and what your mind knows you are capable of leads to tremendous amounts of stress, confusion, and even depression. Many other consequences also come from a lack of consistency.
This is why awareness of self is critical; you need to be constantly evaluating your self. Decide if the persona you are currently displaying is the reality that you want for yourself,because with enough time thats what your reality will become.
Thank you for reading my hub, I love to hear anyones opinion or suggestions. Good luck to everyone.
http://www.howtogetyourshineon.com
About The Author
Ivan Campuzano
A recent Colorado State University graduate with a degree in Finance. While at CSU Ivan studied abroad for a semester at the School of Economics (VSE) in Prague. Prague was such an amazing experience for Ivan, that he decided to move back and pursue several of his dreams.Interests: investing,trading,reading,traveling,music,meeting new people,and looking for new opportunities.
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Posted in Lessons at 4:48 am by Serenity
Manifestation Exercise # 11 - Discovering the Hidden Positives Behind The Negatives
by: Janeen Clark
his is a good exercise to use when you want to discover what is really going on behind the scenes of your negative experiences. There is something positive beyond them - you just need to discover what it is.
You see, your higher self sees beyond time and current circumstances. It knows your “true intentions“, even if you are unaware of them consciously, and it will do everything in its power to match you vibrationally to that thing you are “truly” wanting.
For instance, if your higher intention is safety and security and something comes up that will jeopardize that safety and security (even if you are unaware that it will jeopardize it at the time) it is not at all surprising that obstacles will suddenly appear to prevent you from making a mistake.
Quite often we can misinterpret this obstacles as negative things happening to us or it is just us “not getting what we want when we want it” but there is a little more to it than that.
The following story is an example:
My husband and I were living in a house we bought in Staten Island when we first got married. At the time we bought it, we were both working full time in Manhattan, and while we were making just enough to afford it, there was no extra money.
After a couple of years we decided we wanted to have a baby, but realized that there was no way we could continue to pay for the house if I quit working to stay home to take care of the baby (which I really wanted to do) nor could we afford a full time sitter under the circumstances.
So we decided the only logical solution was to sell our house in New York and have a house built in Southern New Jersey about an hour and a half away. The houses there were much cheaper and we could afford to live there on one salary. We were leaving friends and family behind, but we couldn’t see any other choice.
This was when we ended up making one of the most ridiculous mistakes we could have ever made (or so we thought). Instead of taking the money from the sale of our Staten Island home and putting it into an escrow account to be used for the down payment on the new house we were having built, we made the mistake of giving the money directly to the builder. This builder then proceeded to skip town with it; leaving us with no house, no money to buy another one and no way to find him. By the time this all occurred I was already six months pregnant. Now to say I was despondent was putting it mildly!
We had no choice but to get ourselves an apartment in Staten Island and pray that we would hit some kind of lottery, because with only my husband working it would take years to save up enough money for another down payment. On top of that, the housing boom hit which put $200,000 homes into the half million dollar category! Talk about watching your dream get further and further away from you!
Now you see, I truly do believe that everything happens for a reason, but at the time, I truly couldn’t figure this one out. We were both good and honest people; we had worked hard and had saved every penny we could and now it was all gone in one fell swoop.
Even though I had already starting learning about the law of attraction, this was a really tough one for me to overcome. No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t seem to get past the resentment I felt towards the whole situation. Which of coarse kept me in the situation even longer.
Eventually I started getting back into studying, meditating and looking forward instead of back. It was no easy climb, I assure you. But I started my own online business and put all my energy into focusing on bringing more money in as opposed to staying focused on what we had lost.
Now this is when things got interesting. During the time this was all happening, my mother met a really great guy she was getting serious with. He had his own house in Pennsylvania and she eventually found herself spending more time there then she was in her own house in Staten Island. She didn’t want to sell her house because she still wanted a place to be able to come back to when she visited us or my brother.
So she made us a deal. If my husband and I would take over all the expenses of the house (the mortgage was paid off years ago, so it was just taxes, insurance and the utilities), we could live there as long as we wanted. We only needed to leave the guest room open for her anytime she wanted to visit. Talk about a no-brainer!
The part that strikes me funny though (and what inspired this article, by the way) is that I just came across my old law of attraction journals and read what I had written years ago right before I had sold my own Staten Island home.
It is the list of intentions I wrote to Universe about what I was choosing to create for my future. This is what it said:
I choose to live in a beautiful house I can easily afford
I choose it to be in a great neighborhood
I choose to be surrounded by good friends and neighbors
I choose it to be located in a great school zone
There were some other minor things, but that was the gist of it. What amazes me looking at it now is realizing that I never stated that I had to own the house, or that I was going to have the perfect house built, or even stated that it was going to be a beautiful house in New Jersey; though I know at the time that I wrote the list that that was the direction we were headed because we were already in the process.
All I know is, I am glad that Universe took me at my word and I am very happy that in this case I wasn‘t more specific, because I couldn’t have foreseen how much better this situation would work out for me.
You see, in the time that it took for all these things to occur, the property taxes in the area of New Jersey that I was going to move to has since tripled! If I was living there now it would be costing me more than I was originally paying for my first Staten Island house that I couldn’t afford. It would have been a constant financial struggle, even if I had found another full time job out of the house.
Not to mention how easily the other things on my list fell into place. I am living in a great neighborhood, I am already surrounded by good friends and neighbors because I have known them most of my life growing up here and my son is in the same excellent school zone I was in!
The point is, quite often we don’t realize when we are right in the thick of what we perceive to be a negative situation, that there is something for our greater good beyond it.
We get so focused on cursing the darkness in the tunnel that we forget to look for the light at the end of it.
So here is the exercise for you. It comes in two parts with a bonus at the end if you really want to get into it..
Part One
Think back and write down all the times when what you thought was a negative situation turned into a positive one.
For instance:
When you had to cancel vacation plans due to work or lack of money and found out later they had a hurricane that week.
When you missed your flight due to bad weather and then found out the plane you were supposed to be on got stuck on the tarmac for 7 hours and you were at least in a comfortable airport with a bar and a bathroom!
When you didn’t get a job you thought you wanted and ended up being available for a better one.
When the person you wanted to call you never did, and you ended up meeting the “one” because you were single.
When you missed making the perfect investment, only to find out the company tanked and you would have lost a ton of money.
You get the idea. These things happen all the time. Writing them down helps reaffirm to you that Universe (or your higher self, if you prefer) does in fact have your best interests at heart. If you have a hard time coming up with anything, think about every good thing in your life right now and backtrack. Believe me, you will start to see many ways these things couldn’t have come to you if you had indeed gotten what you originally asked for.
Part Two
Start looking for the light at the end of your tunnel by asking What If? What If The Reason I Haven’t Gotten What I Want Yet Is Because….? Start stretching your mind with ideas of what your higher self might have in store for you that you just haven’t realized yet.
For example:
What if (I didn’t get this position) because a better one is waiting for me.
What if (the reason the deal on buying the house fell through) was because the roof is about to collapse this winter and it would have cost me a fortune I wouldn’t have.
What if (the reason he/she hasn’t called me for another date) was because they are total psychos and my higher self knows better than for me to get involved with them.
What if (the reason the car broke down today when I had somewhere really important to be) was because I would have been involved in a major accident if I had been on the highway today.
What if (the reason I can’t afford the ski trip right now) is because I would have broken my leg on the slopes.
What if (the reason I am stuck on the absolutely slowest line in the store) is because if I left earlier I would run into someone I really don’t want to see right now.
Really stretch your imagination. The fun part of this exercise is that it can help soothe you through disappointment. But the most important part happens later when you prove yourself to be right and you indeed confirm that your higher self has your best interests at heart. That’s when you begin to trust that everything is happening in exactly the right order.
Now for the Bonus Part if you really want to get into it.
Step Three
Try to find your true “hidden intention” as opposed to what you think that you want.
For instance, with my Jersey house. I originally thought my intention was to have this beautifully built house in New Jersey. But in truth my “hidden intention” was just to live in a beautiful house I could afford. This was obvious by how I wrote my intention on my list. After struggling financially in our first house, security was really all I was looking for and just hadn’t realized it. It wasn’t until after I received it that I noticed the blessing it really was.
Maybe in your case, your “hidden intention” was to find someone who really cared about you and was interested in the same things you are. You might have originally thought you were going to find this with a person of the opposite sex but instead you found it in the new best friend you made six months ago and you just haven‘t realized it yet.
So start enjoying and appreciating that friend that Universe sent you in answer to your request and watch how that higher vibration will automatically attract the opposite sex person you are also wanting. Heck! It might even be through that friend.
We are happily such complicated creatures. So much lies below the surface we aren‘t even aware of. But the daily discovery of these things is what makes life so fun and interesting.
Just the fact that you are reading these types of articles means you are already on your way to discovery.
So start looking for the positives that await you in your future. If something you are going through appears negative at the moment, it simply means you haven’t yet discovered the place your higher self is leading you to.
Don’t get discouraged, don’t give up and don’t curse the darkness. Start taking the first steps now to finding the light at the end of your tunnel.
Happy Creating!
About The Author
Janeen Clark is a Spiritual Life Coach who has been teaching, studying and applying the Law of Attraction for over 15 years. If you would like more fun ways to use LOA visit her website at http://www.theveryhappyhuman.com
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Posted in Natural Health and Healing at 4:36 am by Serenity
What Would a Fashion Model’s Diet Plan be
by: Mary Watson
Have you ever wondered how the so-called super models manage to get in such good shape and stay trim, even after having a family?
Fashion models depend on their slim figures for their livelihood, so it’s imperative that they always look good. Don’t worry, I’m not suggesting that you should embark on a diet of leaves and nuts. I’m not an advocate of the size zero, but I’m sure you’ll find it interesting to know what sort of diet a fashion model would choose.
The Fashion Models Diet Plan
A favourite way for models to look good is to “Cleanse” or “Fast”. This is not a complete starvation diet, as it will include the intake of soups and fruit juices over a 3 to7 day period. It is more of a detox routine and is gernerally only carried out once or twice a year.
The benefits of this detox is to obviously rid the body of harmful toxins, such as preservatives and food additives together with inhaled smoke and fumes. It also gives the colon a chance to rid the digestive system of any fecal build up. The results can be dramatic as the liver and kidneys are able to repair and replace damaged cells instead of continuing to rid the body of toxins.
A typical “Cleanse” diet might consist of a combination of fresh carrots, celery, beet, spinach, apple, coconut, broth and juices. Citrus and tomato juices are too acidic to drink while fasting so these should be avoided. It’s important to drink plenty of water during the detox and avoid consuming any unnecessary medications or supplements.
The advantages of a detox are weight loss, reduced body odour, shinier finger nails, stronger hair, reduced cellulite, a glowing complexion and more beautiful eyes.
After the detox, the typical fashion model will then begin her normal eating habits, which to some people may appear to be a “real” diet. However, it will simply be a healthy balanced diet, which might typically consist of the following:
—Breakfast (9am)
One boiled egg with a slice of wholewheat bread
A bowl of cereal with skimmed milk
Black coffee
Total 369 calories
—Lunch (12.30pm)
Turkey salad with balsamic vinaigrette
Cup of tea with skimmed milk
Total 320 calories
—Early Evening Snack (4.30pm)
Low fat Jell-O pudding
Total 100 calories
—Dinner (8pm)
Lean Cuisine chicken a l’orange with rice
2 slices of low fat cheddar cheese with wholewheat crackers
Total 448 calories
The total calorie intake for a typical day is 1237. The aim of the diet is to keep the daily calorie count below 1500.
This is a typical example of a fashion model’s diet, which will also involve some form of aerobic exercises 3 times a week.
So, as you can see it’s not at all what you might have originally thought. It’s just a sensible eating plan and a sensible exercise routine. However, if even this diet seems a little too much to stomach, you could try a natural herbal diet remedy.
Here are the top 5 tips that fashion models highly recommend for staying in trim.
1. Decrease your alcohol consumption. Alcohol suppresses the body’s ability to burn fat.
2. Eat more Black Pepper, Ginger, Chile Peppers. Spicy food helps speed up the body’s metabolism.
3. Increase your muscle mass. Muscle burns fat, so adding 5lbs of muscle will help you burn another 250 calories a day.
3. Increase your vitamin B and Calcium intake. The B-Vitamins give you more energy and increase your metabolism.
4. Drink More Water. A healthy, well-hydrated body is important to flush out toxins and aid in metabolising fats
5. Increase your intake of Omega-3 Fatty Acids. Omega 3 fatty acids can help to balance blood sugar levels and control appetite.
About The Author
Mary Watson writes weight loss, diet plan, health, beauty and general well-being articles for the Slim Eazy website at http://www.slimeazy.com
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07.03.08
Posted in Lessons at 8:49 pm by Serenity
People of many religions report encounters with angels- Mystical Beings who rescue them from danger. This meditation introduces you to your angel so that you can call on him or her in times of need.
First light a candle to welcome the light of your angel into your life.
Sit before the candle with your hands in your lap, palms upward- this position indicates your willingness to accept devine intervention in your life.
Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths to relax your body. As you sit there become aware of a presence behind you, exuding warmth and comfort.
Feel yourself embraced by the presence. Draw strength from the sense of security this brings you.
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Posted in Love~Relationship at 2:14 am by Serenity
Trying to figure out whether your mate’s love towards you is true or not can require a lot of effort and often a lot of pain. One of the biggest fears most individuals have out there is the fear regarding the feelings of their partner and whether such feelings are true or not. There are some sure shot ways using which you will easily be able to find out whether your mate truly loves you or not. Read on to discover what these ways are and achieve earth shattering results within no time…………
Is it unconditional? - This is the very first thing you should consider. Love is something which is unconditional and happens by itself therefore if your mate wants you to do certain things for him/her in return for love then it’s more of a compromise than love. There shouldn’t be any conditions from either one of the partners.
Is there trust? - When someone loves you they would trust you completely without any questions or doubts. A question you should ask yourself is that does your mate trust you completely without any doubts. Your mate would have complete trust in you and there would be no sense of doubt or misunderstanding when it comes to the matter of trust.
He/she tells you they want to spend the rest of their life with you- Does your mate talk in the long term all the time? Are they ready to commit no matter what their condition might be right now? When your mate truly loves you he/she would not have any doubts with commitment and would be willing to commit instantly no matter what condition they might be in right now.
What you don’t know yet- Ever tried to wonder what’s in a woman’s mind? What is she thinking about? Do you know that women do not always mean what they say? They might say something and mean the exact opposite. But what do women actually want? Do you know there are some secrets women don’t want men to know but you absolutely must know these secrets in order to succeed with women? Read on to discover 9 most “Shocking Secrets” women don’t want men to know. This is something you can’t afford to miss at any cost click here- Tell Me The Secrets
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Pushpa_Pal_Singh
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Posted in Uncategorized at 1:42 am by Serenity
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